work and smoking

I really do not know what to say today. At work today we opened up for energy appointments. It was not as bad as it was last month. When they opened up for appointments last month, it happened to be the first day that I started working there. Gosh, it was crazy there!! This month was not as bad as last. Last month we had two list of people waiting to get in and make an appointment.

It was difficult to deal with some of this stuff. I do understand that it is difficult to keep up with the bills sometimes. I know, I have been there. I also understand that there is limited assistance available, especially with the economy the way it is. But, you cannot shoot the messenger. I just work in the front office and I do not have information about any of this. I do not run the phone lines, I do not run the website. I cannot make changes to it. All I can do is suggest ways to improve it. I really do not understand how we can do this.

I also get upset when people are judging the people who do get appointments. I had this one lady start saying that it was the “crackheads” were the ones who get all the appointments. This, to me, seemed unfair to say. There are also quite a few women with young children who got to the office early. They were standing there with young children in the cold.

I do not know what else to say here. I am doing my best to focus on me here. I need to use the tools of recovery to get me through. One thing that I would like to do at this time is quit smoking. I know, I know, I have said this before. It was just that yesterday it was so cold, and I really noticed the insanity of my addiction. I kept thinking to myself “ why on earth do I want to stand out here in the freezing cold to feed this addiction?” The main problem that I have right now is that I have a carton of smokes sitting here. I do not want to throw them away. I told myself that I will quit after the carton of smokes are gone. I also need to find a quit meter so I can show the quit time on my site. This would be rather cool, and may give me the incentive to keep on keeping on. Let’s see if it helps me out any.

Well, this is enough from me for now.

(here goes a clever closing line that will be determined later.)